aiyah,no point being frustrated. i just hate it when people are insincere about the things they talk to me. i dont know, maybe we are just not as comfortable with each other.

on the other hand, i still miss my baby.i hope he's doing well in ocs. sometimes i feel that we're drifting apart and i dont want that to happen. i miss those times where im able to just talk about anything with him. am i keeping away from him?or is it that nothing else happens in my life except his days in camp? sigh nevertheless,i dont want us to grow apart.
baby i miss you~

saliza is such a poor poor soul.things are definitely not the best for her and i do wish that things get fine for her. everytime i've had a rough day with Gerald, i think of her and that makes me treasure my baby the most. he would never do that to me.im not gonna explain anymore and im not blaming anyone on anything. cuz i understand that people do things for a reason but whether the reason is reasonable or not is another issue.

well,guess that's pretty much it.nothing much to blog cuz im not exactly in a blog-mood.

Sad is when your loved one is gone. gosh, i read someone's blog and was just reading on how he is still stucked with the girl that he likes.and i guess from the most current post,things didnt really go his way. poor thing...oh well, lets just hope things get better for him..

im sad too cuz  i am so tired today.i need to sleep.sharon cnnt stop bugging me..OH MY GOD!!!!..STOP CALLING MEEEE!!!!!
gosh....wanna know who's sharon??ask me personally cuz im nt sharin the story here.

oh gosh,tired tired tired....cnt blog anymore.......neeeeddd....toooooo........ZzzZzz

change.probably a phase that everyone went through before or will have to go through. some take it as positively as they can, while others just plainly struggle to at least try to change.try and try and try and try but still no results. sad enough,i fall in the latter category. 
 
i have been trying to change but to no avail. and it ends up hurting both of us.i am so so hurt.but i know he has a deeper cut than me. all the waiting and patience.i understand why he blew up.

hes going OCS now and im being a sorrowful emo bitch.like for once nani GROW UP and dont let emotions rule you!!!..i am so weak sometimes.

but hey, i know my baby's gonna do well in OCS and all i have to do,is be the most supportive girlfriend that i have never been.

as simple as that.

awesome is when im spending my night with my baby.
sigh.
today was just plainly awesome.
gerald is always able to make me feel this way.
this way meaning extremely high and elated and just wish that
we could spend all of our time being this way.
he makes me come back for more.
my babyyy....
and HE IS LIKE THE ONLY ONE WHO IS ABLE TO DO THAT!!...
hmmmm....
i miss him ald.
i hope he gets to OCS.
even when i know he will have lesser time for me.
but its okay, just SUCK THUMB for a while hor dar?.
sigh......
gerald gerald gerald gerald........
love love love!!
im like a lovesick fool.
ahahah..but oh well..
anyway, i love him..
thats it.
ta~

gosh,my eyes and back hurts like nobody's business.doing my project while lying in prone position sure isnt such a good idea man.anyway, today SW went to SRC.damn cool. although it looked super old and the staircase smelt like poo+pee+barf, it was ok all in all. err,alvin was super enthu in askin questions. definitely just a front that he puts up to look intelligent or something....haha.

this week has been really fast. aleh2 dah thursday. next thing i know, ICA's are due and my baby's Passing out Parade is approaching really fast. my baby's so sweet that he wrote "i love my girl" on his army helmet.hhah.i know la super mushy but i love it. heh. i miss my baby..sigh.

D's pretty annoying. at one point of time he might be explaining something really foreign to us.
"what is the origin of rectus abdominus again Mr D?"
"oh it the ribs, the cartilage"
"really?i thought the origin is pubis Mr D?"
"no its ribs cartilage."
"well,okay sir.anything u say"
then, the next thing i know, hes saying the complete opposite.wtf,how am i suppose to answer in his ICAs??
i realy do hope he checks with the answer keys when marking our papers.
i cannot afford a B~

well, im doing fine in school otherwise..soo...im trying very hard not to panic as much.
ok la.back to my CCRM,haha.im actually havin fun doing this project!

nevertheless, its good that im back right?..for a while only perhaps.till i get my laptop prolly.anyhoo...i was just thinking about something.

why is it eh, malay husbands tend to cheat on their wives?why ah?i know im being very judgemental but, it's happening quite often now among friends my age.either their parents are divorced ald or on the verge of divorcing.its damn sad.

but anyway,one thing that im thankful for, is for the distant bond that i share with my dad. makes letting go alot easier. well, it wasnt easy but i choose to think that it was. anyway, my relationship with my dad always circled around money.if i need money then will i talk to him. yes there were some random chats but all along, i wasnt that interested to listen to him talk. and pls note that, these random chats only occured some time back.

12 yrs ago when i was still living with him, parents were still together, i could not even remember the one time i chatted with him abt school.i guess there wasnt even one time.ms prema(my lecturer) said that she used to sit on her dad's lap and talk abt guys. i would love to just look my dad in the eye 12 yrs ago, much less sit on his lap.

im a sucker for happy families. always get the waterworks working when i see such happy and fortunate families. spending time together, basically doing just what families do.sobs.now im feeling emo.

well, on a brighter note, my baby's(omg, i feel so mrepek can?) coming back soon.i miss him loads.heh...

sometimes i am very grateful that i am able to forget abt my worries fast. rather than holding on to it and being emo. but i guess the problems would just come crawling back,cuz no closures have been done. sigh.

anyway,i'll just think abt my dar.....

today,it was raining over at thomson area till bugis area.and so,since bugis was in the east side,i assumed that Bedok would be raining cats and dogs and mice and shoes and rocks and whatnot.so,i decided to be clever and i bought an umbrella from guardian for $4.75.and to get that umbrella,i had to run from the bus stop to guardian at bugis WITHOUT an umbrella.obviously,i was soakin wet by the time i reached guardian since there isnt any shelter to that place.bt i thought,nevermind la,i dnt want to be wet the whole journey home.bought the umbrella and walked towards bugis interchange.decided to show off to other ppl cuz i had an umbrella and they dont.while walkin,i was jus tinking how lucky i was that i didnt have humogorous boobs.i have friends who have the biggest boobs ever and when they are caught in the rain,it seems that the only wet would be their boobs.it too big that it protected other parts of their upper body from getting wet.it would be just damn weird if u have two wet patches over at ur breast areas and the other areas seems pretty dry.hahah.okay...i sidetracked a lil.okay so anyway,the guardian wasnt that far from bugis mrt and that means i only got to show off my new yellow guardian umbrella for a short 15 mins....and den when i reached bedok,it wasnt raining.....sigh...im falling asleep while typing all this shit down.to cut the story short,the whole idea of being wet wasnt appealin today.usually,i'd look forward to walkin in the rain.but not today.yawn.

chibai im damn bored.


i started out my post with "today"....................................................................how fuckin innovative and interesting is that?

so i was on my way home right.was waiting for the lift.den this malay woman came along.she looks pretty snobbish but i put that away cuz i didnt want to be judgemental and besides its not like any of my problem if she was really snobbish right?the lift came and then as always i would ask "hi,what floor?"...i noe,dorky huh?why do i sound like as if im talkin to a customer?..ahah.anyway,she looked at me with the most questionable eyes i have ever seen and said.."dua belas,terima kasih."....chibai,right there and then did i mentally pengsan!first of all,her malay was bahase baku which was super weird.secondly,she gave me the impression that she was thinkin.."apa sahaja budak melayu ini.berbual lah bahasa melayu.speaking london konon."....paiseh gilerr sehhh..that possibly 2 whole mins i was in the lift with her,i felt so awkward.i hope i dont see her ever again.

anyhoohaa,im bored.hahah.
omg,i love gerald la!!!...
:D:D:D:D

i mean seriously.look at the amount of different donut shops here in singapore.
i think m'sia might be experiencing the same thing:the abundant supply of donuts shops
gosh,im so sick of donuts.
i was forced to eat like one whole strawberry donut from Dunkin',
im not really a donut fan.
i feel so lightheaded now.
but of course,that might be my specs too.
i think i need new specs.seriously,i have to squint my eyes
to look at the bus number that's approaching.
mommy,i dont feel too good.


i miss gerald like crazy.
gerald gerald gerald gerald.
today i talked to some girl at the wldlands amore.
she's very nice.she said its sad that singapore does not 
support inter-racial marriage.
she said on the outer,it seems that everyone's okay with it.
but we really know no one's supporting that idea.
not that im thinkin abt marriage..
i mean i am la..but..now is really not the time to think.
i've got lots of other things i want to focus on.
like my fucked up studies.
and basically how to tell my mom on how i did for my exams.
she'll prolly skin me alive.
anyway,i've never felt so disappointed.
maybe bcuz it felt like i actually put in effort but results dont show the same.
i guess i need to put lots more effort.
weird enuff,i cant wait for next term to start.
i want to do well.i need to do weelll.
i want to be happy when i see my results.

my bro smells like shit cuz he hasnt bath.

Sarah Nah,the very definition of "best friend'.she knows me inside out, respect my every opinions and wants.she might not agree with it but yet she accepts it.everytime i think of her, it'll prolly make me chuckle silently. theres just something about her that keeps me coming back to her for more.i might sound so lesbian but its alright because both of us looks the part when we're out together.shes the person whom i never can stop talkin to, she's the person who makes me laugh, shes the person whom i tink i can cry out all my troubles to and shes definitely a girl every guy should cherish.just that she hasnt found the right one that she should cherish.
there was this time during my secondary school years, she was scolded by my maths teacher for not influencing me enough.you see, sarah and i were seat partners and with that i meant she sat beside me.so during math class, i wasnt doing my work and was rockin my chair back and forth.sarah was jus minding her own business and suddenly my math teacher scolded.VERRRRRYYY unreasonable.haha..anyway,sarah was dumbfounded.didnt noe what she did wrong while i was busy laughing beside her.hahah.i dont seem to know why,but at that point of time i realise that she was something different.definitely a friend that i should keep.seeing her getting scolded becuz of me was an eye opener.not for her i suppose.we've been keeping in touch since we left the school and god bless,we are still the best of friends(not like some ppl hor sarah???)i love her to pieces and if i was a bisexual,i'll definitely date her.

happy bday sarah.im so so so so sad i cannot be beside u to make u enjoy your bday.i sincerely thot u had plans.and now im home,my mom would kill me if i go out so late.im terribly sorry honeyy..pls dont be sad anymore.....:D