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on the other hand, i still miss my baby.i hope he's doing well in ocs. sometimes i feel that we're drifting apart and i dont want that to happen. i miss those times where im able to just talk about anything with him. am i keeping away from him?or is it that nothing else happens in my life except his days in camp? sigh nevertheless,i dont want us to grow apart.
baby i miss you~
saliza is such a poor poor soul.things are definitely not the best for her and i do wish that things get fine for her. everytime i've had a rough day with Gerald, i think of her and that makes me treasure my baby the most. he would never do that to me.im not gonna explain anymore and im not blaming anyone on anything. cuz i understand that people do things for a reason but whether the reason is reasonable or not is another issue.
well,guess that's pretty much it.nothing much to blog cuz im not exactly in a blog-mood.
im sad too cuz i am so tired today.i need to sleep.sharon cnnt stop bugging me..OH MY GOD!!!!..STOP CALLING MEEEE!!!!!
gosh....wanna know who's sharon??ask me personally cuz im nt sharin the story here.
oh gosh,tired tired tired....cnt blog anymore.......neeeeddd....toooooo.......
change.probably a phase that everyone went through before or will have to go through. some take it as positively as they can, while others just plainly struggle to at least try to change.try and try and try and try but still no results. sad enough,i fall in the latter category.
i have been trying to change but to no avail. and it ends up hurting both of us.i am so so hurt.but i know he has a deeper cut than me. all the waiting and patience.i understand why he blew up.
hes going OCS now and im being a sorrowful emo bitch.like for once nani GROW UP and dont let emotions rule you!!!..i am so weak sometimes.
but hey, i know my baby's gonna do well in OCS and all i have to do,is be the most supportive girlfriend that i have never been.
as simple as that.
sigh.
today was just plainly awesome.
gerald is always able to make me feel this way.
this way meaning extremely high and elated and just wish that
we could spend all of our time being this way.
he makes me come back for more.
my babyyy....
and HE IS LIKE THE ONLY ONE WHO IS ABLE TO DO THAT!!...
hmmmm....
i miss him ald.
i hope he gets to OCS.
even when i know he will have lesser time for me.
but its okay, just SUCK THUMB for a while hor dar?.
sigh......
gerald gerald gerald gerald........
love love love!!
im like a lovesick fool.
ahahah..but oh well..
anyway, i love him..
thats it.
ta~
gosh,my eyes and back hurts like nobody's business.doing my project while lying in prone position sure isnt such a good idea man.anyway, today SW went to SRC.damn cool. although it looked super old and the staircase smelt like poo+pee+barf, it was ok all in all. err,alvin was super enthu in askin questions. definitely just a front that he puts up to look intelligent or something....haha.
this week has been really fast. aleh2 dah thursday. next thing i know, ICA's are due and my baby's Passing out Parade is approaching really fast. my baby's so sweet that he wrote "i love my girl" on his army helmet.hhah.i know la super mushy but i love it. heh. i miss my baby..sigh.
D's pretty annoying. at one point of time he might be explaining something really foreign to us.
"what is the origin of rectus abdominus again Mr D?"
"oh it the ribs, the cartilage"
"really?i thought the origin is pubis Mr D?"
"no its ribs cartilage."
"well,okay sir.anything u say"
then, the next thing i know, hes saying the complete opposite.wtf,how am i suppose to answer in his ICAs??
i realy do hope he checks with the answer keys when marking our papers.
i cannot afford a B~
well, im doing fine in school otherwise..soo...im trying very hard not to panic as much.
ok la.back to my CCRM,haha.im actually havin fun doing this project!
why is it eh, malay husbands tend to cheat on their wives?why ah?i know im being very judgemental but, it's happening quite often now among friends my age.either their parents are divorced ald or on the verge of divorcing.its damn sad.
but anyway,one thing that im thankful for, is for the distant bond that i share with my dad. makes letting go alot easier. well, it wasnt easy but i choose to think that it was. anyway, my relationship with my dad always circled around money.if i need money then will i talk to him. yes there were some random chats but all along, i wasnt that interested to listen to him talk. and pls note that, these random chats only occured some time back.
12 yrs ago when i was still living with him, parents were still together, i could not even remember the one time i chatted with him abt school.i guess there wasnt even one time.ms prema(my lecturer) said that she used to sit on her dad's lap and talk abt guys. i would love to just look my dad in the eye 12 yrs ago, much less sit on his lap.
im a sucker for happy families. always get the waterworks working when i see such happy and fortunate families. spending time together, basically doing just what families do.sobs.now im feeling emo.
well, on a brighter note, my baby's(omg, i feel so mrepek can?) coming back soon.i miss him loads.heh...
sometimes i am very grateful that i am able to forget abt my worries fast. rather than holding on to it and being emo. but i guess the problems would just come crawling back,cuz no closures have been done. sigh.
anyway,i'll just think abt my dar.....
chibai im damn bored.
i started out my post with "today".................................
anyhoohaa,im bored.hahah.
omg,i love gerald la!!!...
:D:D:D:D
i think m'sia might be experiencing the same thing:the abundant supply of donuts shops
gosh,im so sick of donuts.
i was forced to eat like one whole strawberry donut from Dunkin',
im not really a donut fan.
i feel so lightheaded now.
but of course,that might be my specs too.
i think i need new specs.seriously,i have to squint my eyes
to look at the bus number that's approaching.
mommy,i dont feel too good.
i miss gerald like crazy.
gerald gerald gerald gerald.
today i talked to some girl at the wldlands amore.
she's very nice.she said its sad that singapore does not
support inter-racial marriage.
she said on the outer,it seems that everyone's okay with it.
but we really know no one's supporting that idea.
not that im thinkin abt marriage..
i mean i am la..but..now is really not the time to think.
i've got lots of other things i want to focus on.
like my fucked up studies.
and basically how to tell my mom on how i did for my exams.
she'll prolly skin me alive.
anyway,i've never felt so disappointed.
maybe bcuz it felt like i actually put in effort but results dont show the same.
i guess i need to put lots more effort.
weird enuff,i cant wait for next term to start.
i want to do well.i need to do weelll.
i want to be happy when i see my results.
my bro smells like shit cuz he hasnt bath.
there was this time during my secondary school years, she was scolded by my maths teacher for not influencing me enough.you see, sarah and i were seat partners and with that i meant she sat beside me.so during math class, i wasnt doing my work and was rockin my chair back and forth.sarah was jus minding her own business and suddenly my math teacher scolded.VERRRRRYYY unreasonable.haha..anyway,sarah was dumbfounded.didnt noe what she did wrong while i was busy laughing beside her.hahah.i dont seem to know why,but at that point of time i realise that she was something different.definitely a friend that i should keep.seeing her getting scolded becuz of me was an eye opener.not for her i suppose.we've been keeping in touch since we left the school and god bless,we are still the best of friends(not like some ppl hor sarah???)i love her to pieces and if i was a bisexual,i'll definitely date her.
happy bday sarah.im so so so so sad i cannot be beside u to make u enjoy your bday.i sincerely thot u had plans.and now im home,my mom would kill me if i go out so late.im terribly sorry honeyy..pls dont be sad anymore.....:D
i blogged abt my dream guy before.what he'd be like and all.and now im going to put all of this onto gerald.
He...
1.has got a nice voice. (gerald sings amazingly)
2.has got a nice perky bum (quite small la his butt but its lovable)
3.has quite a nice bod. (ABSOLUTELY.)
4.has got a cute face. (CUTE?or rather adorable la...)
5.has got a wonderful personality. (of course!!)
7.has got eyes that smiles no matter what. (i tink he likes doing that)
8.has got a grin thats makes me crave him. (hah!he definitely have this)
9.has got nice manly hands. (nice cute hands he's got)
10.has got highlighted spiked hair. (not highlighted,dyed the whole head rather)
11.doesnt look emo at all. (of course he doesnt!)
12.makes me smile always. (definitely!)
13.pays for most of my expenses. (i cancelled half cause sometimes he pay,sometimes he doesnt)
14.makes my heartache go away. (tryin very hard not to sound corny.)
15.makes it sunny even when its raining. (it's been raining lately,so u noe,he hasnt done this well..:D)
16.makes our dates worthwhile. (never once have i tot our dates are useless)
17.carries my stuff for me. (yes yes!!!..he carries my bag!)
18.laugh at my lame unfunny jokes. (hes forced to do this.)
19.never makes me cry. (he makes me cry,occasionally)
20.counts my almost not existing leg hair. (doesnt count them,but plucks them tho)
21.DOESNT EXIST.
backstabbing.an act i see so often everyday.where?
mostly everywhere.
is it just women's characteristics to backstab or am i just surrounded with
alot of girls like that?
and for what purpose do they backstab me for?
just to get into the good books,
good books of a higher authority.
its bad enough that you backstab,you have to even add extra
juices to the story...awesome...
in the end,a redundant ruckus evolved.
whatever happened to the wondrous stories of matured working ladies
just coming to work to strive for success and not deal with stupid
issues like this?
i've often heard stories like that.....wait..come to think of it..
i havent heard any before.
on a lighter note,i met sulaiman yesterday.
how much has that kid grown man!
makes me feel and look old jus by looking at him.
i still rmbr the time when i first met him with Zahrah(his older sis)
he was so puny i could easy squash him with my freakishly long legs.
but now,hes so matured.his thinkin definitely,dressing..err..well,its kinda there i guess.
he's like the younger brother i never had.
i've always wanted a younger bro.
not that im hating my sis.its just that shes annoying somtimes.
like me.
on a lighter-er(Ha!) note,gerald's bday just passed.
(i refuse to call him "my Boyfriend".i'd love to call him sweetheart online
but it'll all sound corny)
i planned like i had never planned before.considering that
im so lousy at planning,i guess i got a B- grade.and yeah,
im grading myself. it was quite alright but cupcakes weren't what
i expected and location was horrendous.stupid ants were everywhere and
my poor gullible gerald tried to lure them away by burning the marshmallows
and shooting them to the floor.(he likes to make himself look stupid cuz he
knows i like it when he does that.right dar?)
anyway honey,i'd giv u an "A" for effort but "F" for results obtained
cuz the ants didnt even budge.i'll still love you no matter what okay?
my boyfriend is so adorable.....hahah..beware corny alert.
im so mrepek cannn???
well,this entry is a long one isnt it?
just fyi,i walked from bugis to eunos just now.
it was such an awesome experience.there was light breeze,
prostitutes at kallang,wondrous condos at lavender,cemetery at bugis.
AWESOME!!!!!i was so tired when i reached eunos.
i took a bus home and sleep all the way thru.
sometimes i love my randomness.
it definitely allowed me to calm down and think as well.
im so at peace now!!!
kadang2 aku tak paham uh.tak tau ape die nak.mcm klaka.bile aku kt situ sebok nah ngn kwn die.abeh kalau aku buat bende yg same...tk boleh.ckp aku tk sayang die la....tk ckp belas kasihan la gituk...abeh yg aku nie??..mcm tunggul die buatkan boleh la....padahal die ngn kwn aku bbual nonstop..abeh ckp aku tk tunjuk die cukup perhatian.ape nie???...tk paham seh...abeh die menggatal ngn org laen boleh?...aku tau mmg kwn ahh...abeh die pegang2 geletek2 bolehh..biler part akuu..wah wahh..semue tk boleh...die nie....kdg2...ALAMAK STEEERRREEESSSS.....
DO WHAT YOU WANT OTHERS TO DO TO YOU.
for once in my life,i wished i was fairer.den i'll look totally chinese!!!!i want to look like a chinese la....pretty pls.
you know how sometimes ur friend just gets on ur nerves?i mean i assumed he/she wanted to help but all he does is to create more work for us. WHY DO YOU DO THAT?and he/she wants to go solo?im sorry but this is kind off a team thing where there is no S or O or L or another O in T.E.A.M!!!!!i mean..its two bloody am,you load us with more work just 5 mins ago,when we ald decided on something like bloody hour ago, and WE HAVE TO CHANGE JUST CAUSE U TINK URS IS BLOODY BETTER???where were u when all of us are discussing???...WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU?????.....sincerely,suck my balls!!!!....but i dont have..so nvm....
gosh,im just so annoyed and sleepy...mommyy....
my net's connection is being a total ass. keep going connecting and disconnecting and shits like that. even when im online, its so bleedy slow.
gosh,there's school tmrw.not lookin forward to next week or rather this week cuz i still hav two bleedy projects completely untouched and possibly missing too. its going to be such a rushy week for me man.and there's ICA as well,as per normal,never prepared.but im gonna study tmrw.so,yeah, i gotta do well, I KNOW I CAN I KNOW I CAN I KNOW I CAN.....yawn..im tired..
i wonder about alot of things.yesterday, as i was jogging along the park to Marine Parade. i thought about a lot of things.
1. when will i ever live in that big house along Jalan Senyum.
2.when will i ever strike it rich.
3.when will a hot angmoh hit on me.
4.when will i stop biting my nails.
5.when will my dad stop asking me, "you need money?"OF COURSE I DOO...
6.when will my hair grow longer.
7.when will my legs be muscular.
8.when will i ever save up.
9.when will my friends not forget me.
10.when will my boobs get naturally bigger.
11.why does my jogging route seems never ending???
12when will living in Singapore get cheaper.
13. will i ever leave Singapore.
14.why are stupid movies being directed for example alien vs predators.
15.when will i be fully satisfied with what i have.
16.when will my mom stop nagging.
17.why is my brother so bloody lazy and unkempt.
18.will he learn to be tidy in ns.
19.gosh this route....*pants*..is killing me...
20.WAHHHH...CANNOT ALDDDDD...FUCK GOTTA STOPPPPP.!!!!!
yeah...i thought about all that during my 30 mins jog......
i've made a pact with myself that i shall never ever insult someone in my blog. it just hurts sia.i dont even noe where this entry is going to lead me to.but i just needed to say all that.that it hurts.should i tell him?fuck la.stupid.why bother myself with all this crap sial.cockhead.
- Mood:
angry
ARIES * TheDaredevil *
Energetic.--i am energetic at the weirdest times.i tend to get really energetic when im really tired,nearing to the point where i'd just fall asleep even if you put me at the hardest condition to sleep at.
Adventurous and spontaneous-- i can say i am adventurous even though it might be a little difficult to get the engine rolling but i'd do stuff just so i could have a taste of how it feels.spontaneous??...THATS LIKE MY MIDDLE NAME.
Confident and enthusiastic.-- i can say i am confident in that average level.never over-confident.although sometimes i have doubts in the things that i do,i can still say im confident enough to try it. i am confident when i know my stuff.like i really know and there's no room for doubts.for my enthusiasm level,it has increased. it's only normal to be enthusiastic doing the things you like right? but now i've learnt to be enthu about things that i dont like btu i still have to do it.for example, my studies!yey me!now, im enthusiastic-er.okay. lame.
Fun--fun is in me.you cant spell fun with N at the back and N is for Nani.gosh.i dont noe wtf im saying but hey!i'm fun!
Loves a challenge--this im not too sure.but im learning on how i should welcome challenges cause i noe it'll make me a better person.:)
EXTREMELY impatient-this is super true.even gerald would agree to this.this is an area i should work on.but sometimes, its good to be extremely impatient.it gets certain things done.
Sometimes selfish-cant help it la.human nature what.but i do try to not be selfcentered.
Short fuse. (easily angered.)--im guilty of this.so what?you going to shoot me?.
Lively, passionate, and sharp wit-- i am lively.passionate?..erm,should be right?sharp wit??i dont potray that part of me often.gary thinks im a bimbo.stupid COQ.
Outgoing--super super outgoing!!!!!!!
Lose interest quickly - easily bored-- this is due to short attention span.im tryin to work on it.
Egotistical--I AM SO NOT!!!!..maybe i am...but a little only okayyyyy
Courageous and assertive--courageous???erm..not to sure.hasnt killed any tigers or dragons lately.assertive?okay la..when i really want things to be done my way,my way or the highway.
Tends to be physical and athletic--both is true.
16 years of bad luck if you do not forward--AND THIS IS PLAIN BULLSHIT.
i can't believe i just insulted someone.and worse off, i didnt even realise i insulted that person.
how can i possibly be an idiot?like im totally known for not insulting anyone ever.
like omfg.but i was just saying what was in my head.okay so maybe he's gerald and im kinda
straightforward when im with him. i just say what i want.feels weird.like u guys are gfs and bfs ryte,
so its understandable that u guys both are outgoing and totally say whats on your mind.i mean,thats how
u'd get ur msg across and not just go along with his flow.but as his gf,that doesnt give me the right to insult him.
even tho its totally unintentionally.maybe i should have just voiced it out to him.i didnt have to go all defensive.
see la.being single for too long aint good.makes u forget how to treat ur other partner.well,i'm like that.
just shootin my mouth off.sometimes i thank god for my ability to not care abt ppl's feelings but yet at the same
time,it sucks to be hurting someone.gosh.
oh dont mind me.im just letting the voices in my brains out.so that i can think clearer.wow.this helps.
- Mood: stressed
